Slow down, and nobody gets hurt with a fork
Some days I go too fast. The summertime is no exception. I try
to rush and fill their days with ‘summer fun’ or check activities off our to-do
list. “Hurry, we must have fun, only a couple weeks left!” my brain screams.
I rush around keeping things in order — picking up a million
toys or nerf bullets, scooping poop from the yard, folding endless laundry.
That’s a switch many mothers just can’t turn off. Things must be in order—there
is no other way.
We rush out the door to make it anywhere. After we leave
anywhere, it’s usually a rush to get home for dinner and bath and a rush to get
them to bed so I can sit down for the first time that day. It’s always a race
to the sweet freedom that bedtime brings each night.
Sometimes my rushing around causes some guilt at the end of the
day. Did I hug them enough? Did I tell them ‘I love you’? Did I really listen
to their knock-knock jokes or just drown them out with the vacuum?
Sometimes the rushing around causes a nagging sense of being
unfulfilled, even though everything technically got done that day. I hate the
feeling that I rushed around all damn day and did a million things but not one
of them made my heart happy. I don’t remember laughing at anything with them
most days.
And then sometimes all my rushing around can cause me some pain.
Not emotional pain— I’m talking about real, physical pain. Like
‘being-impaled-by-a-fork’ kind of pain.
That kind of pain came tonight when I was again rushing, racing
to do the dishes so I could finish the laundry to get the beds made up to get
the kids in those beds. My hands were not running as fast as my brain was, so
when my left hand was putting away a stack of forks in a drawer, and my right
hand decided it was time to slam the drawer shut, that was when one dinner fork
sticking up got caught on my middle finger (the same middle finger that is put
to good use sometimes while I’m rushing in interstate traffic) and pierced
through the bottom half of my fingertip then came out the other end of my
fingertip.
My rushing around mentality failed me tonight. It’s not working
anymore. Being everywhere and anywhere at nonstop speed just can’t be
maintained.
While I’m ok and my finger is ok (ask me how fast impaled forks
can be ripped from human flesh)— I learned a lesson here. F-ing slow down. Your
life isn’t a race. My kids won’t remember if I left a dirty pot in the sink, or
that I didn’t fold the towels, but they’ll remember if mom listened to their
stupid jokes. They will remember my laugh. They’ll remember that I kissed them
goodnight.
So just slow down.
Because being impaled by a dinner fork is seriously not fun.
You sound like me. You know how sometimes you're driving somewhere and all of a sudden you're there but you don't remember actually driving there? Like autopilot. That's how I feel about life most days. I lay in bed at night, feeling guilty and unfulfilled. I wish I was one of those women that could just let stuff go and play with my kids or actually listen to their stories without mentally begging them to hurry up so I can go back to whatever task I'm trying to accomplish.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, my point is, glad to know I'm not alone!
Thank you for reading along!!
DeleteXoxo
Andrea