To Kobe's widow

I've thought about you all day.

While I can't begin to fathom the loss of a child, I can sympathize with you a little regarding the loss of your spouse. My late husband was also 41 when he died. I know that this, the day after his death, was probably almost as excruciating as yesterday. Because you had to wake up again to the fact that life as you knew it is over.

I remember the feeling of waking up that next day after—I had probably only slept an hour or so—hoping and praying it was all just a nightmare. But like me, you probably opened your eyes to a reality that told you it wasn't. He was still gone. No amount of money, prestige, or power could change that. And here, as people around the world mourn your husband and what the loss means to them, you only know the hurt and heartbreak of what it means to you and your little ones. You and you alone knew the intimacy of who and what he meant to you and your children.

People will tell you their thoughts. They will offer advice, they'll try to comfort you with things like "well at least xxx" or "it's a blessing that xxx" but you'll be numb and deaf to every word. You'll wonder how you will ever go on. You'll cry yourself to sleep wondering if anything will ever be ok again. I hope you'll find a way though to keep getting up, to keep picking yourself up every day. I hope you will keep living and loving even when it feels like there is no point.

My daughters told me about the kids at school today who were talking about the basketball player who died. They didn't want to believe that his little girl, the same age as their own brother, died too. I told them we were going to send special prayers for Kobe's family, and his widow especially. My daughter said, "Mom, are you friends with his wife on Facebook? Can you tell her she'll be alright?"

I suppose in her eyes, all widows are supposed to know each other and although I don't know you and never will, I just wanted to tell you that you are going to be ok. I know it doesn't seem possible ever again, especially on this, the brutal day after. I can only tell you I'm so sorry. And you will be ok.

This post was excerpted and published Jan. 28, 2020, here at Popsugar. This post was also published Jan. 29, 2020, here at FoxNews. This post was also published Jan. 30, 2020, here at Good Morning America.
This post was also published Jan. 30, 2020 here at Yahoo! news.
This post was also published Jan. 28, 2020 here at mom.com.
This post was also published Jan. 31, 2020 here at Radio.com.